Ode To My Computer...

It thinks It has an opinion
It thinks that It’s alive
But when I want It to do something
All It does is shuck and jive

I bought It as a tool
Like a hammer to a nail
But when it comes time for work
It has a tendency to fail

I try to talk some sense to It
To be a sensitive guy
But nonetheless It fails me
And I’m left here asking why

So I bought another unit
To make up for Its mistake
But now I own two lemons
And I have twice the headache

Now I’m out of money
And frustrated to boot
All I wanted was a machine
That acted like a tool

But then I have an idea
Maybe I’ll start from scratch!
If I erase Its memory
Perhaps we’ll be a better match

But as fate would have it
Amnesia wasn’t the trick
My Computer had other plans
And now It’s really acting sick

Error warnings left and right
My face is flashing red
The only thing that seems to work
Is when I pull the plug dead

Now I have less headaches
Now I feel more alive
Since I’ve kept the power off
I get more exercise

No more lame excuses
No more silly games
Just a carcass of a computer
Used as a paper weight...